US

COMIC RELIEF

May 11, 2018
By Usama Rasheed

Once upon a time, a blonde got so sick of hearing “blonde jokes” that she dyed her hair.....

Once a blonde, always a blonde

Once upon a time, a blonde got so sick of hearing “blonde jokes” that she dyed her hair.

A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd, always a gentleman, said, “Sure!”

The blonde thought for a moment and, for no discernible reason, said, “352.”

This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed, “You’re right! Okay, I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.”

The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “Okay, now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair colour, can I have my dog back?”

The GPS cat

There was a man who couldn’t stand his wife’s cat. So, one day he decided to get rid of the cat by dumping it a long way away from the house.

He put the cat in the car and drove about 20 blocks away, and then left it at the park. But when he got home, the cat was there as if nothing had happened.

The next day he decided to take the cat somewhere further away, about 50 blocks. He put it out of the car and drove home. And again, the cat was there waiting for him.

“This is impossible,” said the man to himself. “Tomorrow, I’ll make sure it can’t come back.”

The next day he put the cat in the car and drove around, taking turn after turn - right, left, right, right, and so on. Eventually, after about an hour of driving, he finally let the cat out and drove home.

A few hours later, the phone rang at his house and his wife answered it. It was the husband, and he asked: “Is the cat there?”

“Why? Yes!” said the wife. “It’s been here quite a while, where are you?”

“Please put it on the phone. I’m lost and I need directions.”

Compiled by Usama Rasheed